06/11/04

02:26

Didnt stay away long did I

Have to scream to get this out, to shout and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

People suck, I hate people, they are mean and horrid and just so pathetic.

Wanted a break from everything as I said, but oh no, had such a nice morning, cuddled up with paul talking bout stuff, and nearly made him late for work, didnt have to bad a day myself, as managed to think of a few good poems and talked to my friend Angela who may be leavng, and then last minute before it was time to go home, I was reading a magazine and doing my work right as I only put two pieces of cardboard together and can do it blindfolded. Some guy eric, started shouting in front of everone about how lazy I was and couldnt be working and reading, so I just stared at him and laughed, hes a silly old man, anyway.

But then he started again while waiting at the clocking off thingy and I had had enouh, I argued back with him. He said if i wanted to go so much why didnt I clock off and **** off. Then my friend Angela, decided she had had enough, so she clocked out early losing 15 mins, so then I decided that was it, and I went too, told the supervisor I had clocked off and now have to go in monday to face it.

The worst thing is when I got home all I wanted to do was to find a way to hurt me, as i hated me I wanted me to feel punished, why would I feel like this, it wasnt my falut this man was so bad, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and so sick in the head,

But I came home and took laxatives instead, then started to panic as I had taken far too many. Bex got me to call the docs, and then to tell paul, when he came in, i thought he would shout at me but instead hugged me and said it would be ok, that he loved me, and was here, I then started crying. couldnt stop, feel so awful.

had to phone hospital as well to make sure what i took wasnt too bad, and they said not, I am now in agony and feel even worse, I hate me more than I hate ed and I hate that guy in work so so much, have written a letter of complaint about him for monday morning, but am going to the docs before i go into work to see if he can suggest anything, like changing my meds dont think these are working anymore, dont think they ever did. Just made me worse, I think.

Anyways, enough for now, glad I got it out, hope to talk to you all soon, as I love ya all to bits,

Love and huge hugs,

Dawn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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