I have had quite a bit of interest in my posts about my past over the last couple of weeks. More importantly, about Cheadle Royal Hospital. I can tell this because of the ‘search engine’ results on which they found my blog.
I can and do understand why perhaps these pages have been interesting to someone, and I hope that in reading them, he or she has a much better understanding of who I am and in what happens at Cheadle Royal Eating Disorders Unit.
A very long story, a very short version.
At 15 I weighed much more than I should have, I started a diet with my local nurse, and it turned into anorexia. When the anorexia wasn’t enough I started to throw up after anything I ate. When I had to eat ‘normal’ for social functions and family meals, this became the ‘normal’ for me, to hide who I was and scurry away to the loo…
I didn’t realize that I had a problem until I passed out at a bus stop.
That problem just managed to keep on being a problem. And then I met the love of my life, Paul Chapman.
The day he told me he loved me was the day I told him about my eating disorder.
With his help and support over the years, I managed. I saw therapists and councilors, but not one of them could help me as much as I needed them too with my eating. However, they helped in many other ways.
I suffered with bullying and sexual abuse as a child and as an adult. But with very different coping mechanisms in place, I plodded on… and on… and on… until eventually the building tension was too much and the bubble burst.
After seeing a therapist who helped me to deal with the sexual abuse at work, I was referred to Cheadle Royal Eating Disorder’s Unit. I had no idea what I was getting into, but as my weight plummeted even more with a death in the family. I eventually agreed to go.
It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.
It was also one of the best.
If anyone does take a look through those pages of 2007 I think they will see the pain and the process that I went through to finally get the help that I needed to recover.
At present I have been discharged for over 3 years and they have been wonderful years.
To anyone who looks over my past, wondering, hoping for their future. In my pain I hope they will also see a great courage, a courage that helped me succeed and be where and who I am.
Without the past to mold us into the people we are today, there would not be a world full of strong and beautiful people.
Recovery is possible, believe in it, seek it.
And if you ever, ever, need someone to talk too. Reach out, I’ve been there, I’ve seen it, I’ve done it.
Love and hugs to all.
Dawn x x
Kanundra’s blog by Dawn Chapman is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.